Last November, I gave a talk to a group of professional communicators in L.A. on the topic of engaging employees in an environment of distractions. As part of the research for the talk, the common theme that kept emerging as the antidote to living in a world of chaos and distraction, was the imperative to build our muscle of resiliency. One definition of resiliency I came across is “our ability to stay centered, present and focused in the midst of inevitable stress, uncertainty, and distraction.”[1]

If there ever was a time that we find ourselves in the midst of stress, uncertainty, and distraction, it’s now. We don’t know when schools and workplaces will open again. We don’t know how bad the coronavirus pandemic will get in our cities, states, countries or planet. We don’t know when we’ll feel safe to hug our friends again. And this uncertainty affects our ability to focus on what’s in front of us, the work we can or must do today.  

Distraction is more insidious than following the shiny object or feeling a pull to check our phones every five minutes. A thesaurus review of distraction shows synonyms including disturbed, panicked, distressed, frenzied, inattentive, preoccupied. Shakespeare’s use of the word “distracted” in Hamlet referred to being in a state of deep confusion, trouble of mind, mental disturbance.[2]

If distraction is the norm for the foreseeable future, what can we do today to build our muscles of resiliency?  Some experts recommend habit formation accompanied by accountability with a friend. These can include daily meditation, reading, prayer, physical exercise, gratitude practice, journaling. Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way, has espoused morning pages for years. Morning pages are a practice of three pages of free-form writing (even ranting or purging) every morning before starting the day. With an ounce of effort, I’ve found there is usually something to “get out of my head and onto the page” even when things seem to be fine. Cameron’s devotees have found that dumping one’s woes and worries onto a page first thing in the morning opens the channels for creativity and freer thinking – a more productive, resilient state than plodding through the day with the baggage and circular thinking our brains like to harbor.

Another thing I’ve found that enhances my own resiliency is understanding what negatively triggers me and avoiding it. The news comes to mind. Even for a non-news-junkie, it has been hard in past weeks to not check the latest stock market debacle or coronavirus infection rate multiple times a day. But if I step back and notice how I feel after consuming the latest news, I feel heavier, darker, more irritable, and generally weaker and more powerless. Nutritionists have told us for years that we are what we eat. The information we consume is no different. If you feel yourself plummet after a midday news binge, perhaps try some intermittent fasting around that and see if your strength isn’t buoyed.  

The world we’re looking at in March 2020 is a new paradigm for most of us. And we can’t do this alone. With social distancing and sheltering-in-place in effect for many of us, the need to feel connected is imperative. In his book “More Together than Alone”, Mark Nepo says that our need for true community is swelling and that ordinary people are thirsting for a chance to be together authentically. He compares the gathering of people in the modern world around our different injuries to help each other heal the way white blood cells rush to the site of an injury. I’ve seen multiple examples of this in my own physical and online communities just in the past week. Our task is to find a way to make this stick with impact when we can’t physically be together, or beyond simply posting an offer to pick up groceries for the housebound. (please do this BTW). Rather than routinely asking “how are you?”, we can follow up with “no, really, how ARE you?” and then a deeper “seriously, I want to know. Are you okay and what can I do?” And just as important, we can give permission to those around us to show their vulnerability by bravely showing our own. Admitting “I’m not okay today” to another person is an enormous show of vulnerability and opens us up to receiving the strength the other has to offer in that moment, while simultaneously giving them permission to say the same tomorrow.

We’re living moment to moment now, where what was true yesterday may not be true today. It’s unsettling at best. My wish is for you to find what grounds you and bolsters your own resiliency as well as the people in your actual and virtual communities. As a planet, we truly are all in this together.

[1] https://www.tlnt.com/the-relationship-of-distraction-resilience-and-engagement/

[2] http://shakespeareatchicago.uchicago.edu/assignments/hamlet1/distracted.shtml

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