The Varied Faces of Storytelling
Storytelling. It’s one of the buzzwords of the day, particularly in corporate circles, and certainly in the communications circles I run in. Corporate storytelling endeavors to lift team members’ narratives from data, numbers and bits, to meaning-making of those same details with the goal of connecting with audiences in an intentional way that puts them front and center. This is all right and good and a topic I love speaking to corporate audiences about.
Then there’s storytelling on a more personal level, and it divides into two interesting and divergent paths. There is the story that is helpful for us to tell so that others know who we are and what we offer, and the story that is unhelpful for us to tell because it hurts us and keeps us stuck. Both are fascinating and something I think about a fair amount.
Many of us are aware of the stories that we don’t want to be telling – the narratives that we’ve adopted over time that keep us trapped in habits that no longer serve us. Stories that read like “I’ll never be happy until I stop working”, “I can’t afford to take time out for myself” or “I have to keep doing things this way because changing the circumstances is too difficult.” There are books written about tackling these limiting beliefs and I love nothing more than to work with people to untangle them. These are the stories that must be brought to consciousness, dismantled and released if we’re to live a free and satisfied life.
Then there’s another path of story wherein we dig deep to uncover the many facets and colors of who we are with the goal of stitching together all of the seemingly disparate pieces that combine to paint the picture of the unique, one-of-a-kind individual each of us are on the planet. Here’s an example of a young woman I was talking with recently. Her desire in the world is to be an expert and counselor in the area of women’s pelvic health, drawing upon her personal experience and deepest calling. However, the areas she has studied in and worked previously are seemingly disparate and disconnected. She has worked as a physical therapy assistant and has education in GIS mapping. She feels as though she has been bouncing around aimlessly and is frustrated that the things she has done historically don’t seem to translate to what she wants to be doing. Or “worse”, she struggles to create a compelling statement about who she is, what she can do, or what she loves without sounding confusing or flaky.
I get this. I’ve struggled in the past to make sense of my own breadbasket of corporate communications, executive and speaker coaching, writing and theatre. It can feel like a band of misfits dancing inside one’s head. But here’s the thing. It DOES all stick together, no matter how seemingly disparate, because it’s all inside of you. Or her. Or me. You are the place where it all comes together. The many hues of you are the reason there’s only one you. And that is the same reason that you have a beautiful and unique offering to share with the world. The only challenge might be the story-crafting around what that is, what it means, and how it can be realized. As my young friend and I talked about her seemingly disparate pieces and acknowledged their unification within her, she laughed and said she would love to be the world’s first woman to create an interactive, digital map of the inside of the uterus. I can only imagine there are myriad uses for that in the world.
According to new research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology earlier this year, viewing your life story as a Hero’s Journey is now proving to increase meaning in one’s life, not only because the Hero’s Journey is typically one of redemption, but also because it includes things like challenge, perspective shifts, quests, allies and legacies.[1] Why does this matter? By understanding this cultural narrative framework, people can recognize the patterns of the Hero’s Journey in their own life and thereby transform their experiences into “quintessential narratives” that allow them to see positive meaning and reframe the view of their lives. This, coupled with what the researchers call “restorying intervention”, allows people to disrupt the persistent, often ruminative stories they tell and craft a new view based on their lived experience.
All of this underscores the importance of story, both in the micro view as well as the macro view of a life. Stories permeate our culture because they create emotional connections and those emotional connections create empathy and cause them to stick. So don’t dismiss the stories in your life – particularly the ones you’re telling yourself. Which are the ones you need to let go of? What stories do you need to reframe? And most importantly, what is the thread that ties all of the seemingly disconnected parts of your experience into your one, unique, heroic and extraordinary story?